I walk because my family had to run.

This is a picture from my wedding (obviously). Along with me and my husband are Ma San Htin and her family. Eight years ago I met Ma San Htin and her family. They were one of the many families from Burma that I met that year, heck, that day! Thousands of Karen refugees from Burma were being invited to resettle in the U.S at that time. Looking back on that time, I see how God placed (practically forced!) Ma San Htin into my life. She has become my sister.

Ma San Htin and others like her didn't desire or plan to live in America. Her family is from Burma and are a part of an ethnic minority group- the Karen. 

The Karen have been forced to flee from their villages time and time again. The Burmese army raids the villages of the Karen, steal the children to be soldiers, rape the women and abuse or kill anyone they come across. This is not an isolated experience- this has been happening for decades- families fleeing from one place to the next to evade the army of their own country. 

There came a point for Ma San Htin and her family when they just couldn't keep doing this, they had suffered loss and violence and had a new baby to think about. While their plan, like so many refugees, was to live among their people in their homeland, violence and persecution took that dream away. They were forced to flee. They became refugees. 

That was a long time ago- they have been in the U.S for 8 years now. They know the language, their family has grown and they have a new community. They are also U.S. citizens now. 

This silly picture was taken as part of the "family" shots. These little girls, my nieces, were some of my flower girls. They are safe now, they don't have to run anymore-- and while they even feel, at least, a sense of "home" here in the U.S, Ma San Htin told me that she will, in a sense, always be a refugee.

I am walking because Ma San Htin and her family had to run.

Playing around with Prezi

This is my first try at embedding a prezi

I walk because God is El Roi

"Hagar and Ishmael" by Jean Charles Cazin

Remember Hagar? God had given Sarah and Abraham the promise of a child. The problem was that Sarah was too old to have a baby. Instead of believing the Creator of the universe (hindsight is 20/20, I know) she did what was a common practice at that time, she gave her servant, Hagar, to her husband to have a child on her behalf. Later Sarah despised Hagar and abused her . God came to Hagar, an Egyptian servant girl (who didn't know Him) in her distress twice (that we know of).Once when she was newly pregnant , alone and fleeing the abuse of her mistress Sarah, and another time, after having been sent away with her son, Ishmael, into the desert by Abraham. She sat a ways off watching her son die from lack of water. Imagine that. God met her and rescued her and her son. She called Him, El Roi, the God who sees.

A few months ago at church, we sang a new (to me) song called “Strong God” by Meredith Andrews.
The lyrics are: 
Father to the fatherless, Defender of the weak, Freedom to the Prisoner, we sing
This is God, in His holy place, this is God, clothed in love and strength
Sing out lift your voice and cry out, Awesome is our strong God, mighty is our God
You’re with us in the wilderness faithful to provide, Every breath and every step we see
This is God in His holy place, This is God clothed in love and strength.

Now, I know it was written by nice suburban folk for nice suburban folk with a metaphorical flair- I mean, I have been on this earth for 33 years and have never really seen a literal wilderness, but I think I could say that I understand what she’s describing, I think most of us have felt, at one time, this concept of a wilderness and understand the presence of God in this place. 

What struck me was the literal reality of these words experienced in the lives of refugees every day. And I cried (those of you who know me in real life know that I don’t cry). I thought of my friends here in the U.S. who have been through so much, I thought of their relatives still in danger and hopeless. I thought of the countless thousands running from Syria right now. I thought of those people who are just trying to live and provide for their families and teach their children to be good people but their lives are interrupted by war and murder and fear.

The line “This is God in His holy place” was such a reminder to me of God’s greatness, bigness and goodness. This is who God is, God see’s refugees. He is their father and defender. He sees us in our metaphorical and spiritual wildernesses and he sees refugees in the literal wilderness that they pass through to find safety. 

I walk for Exodus because the mission of Exodus is to foster relationship between refugees and volunteers from the local Church.

I walk for refugees because God sees them in their wilderness. For me, walking alongside refugees as they find "home" is an act of worship. 

Click here to support refugees for the 2013 Run/ Walk for refugees

Love your Neighbor

Hey all, as many of you know I am on staff at Exodus World Service. Exodus is a non-profit organization that mobilizes the local church to serve refugees.

Did you know that refugees live in our communities!?? No matter where you are reading this from, there are likely many folks who were forced to flee their homelands living within an hour or so from you! Who knew?

I didn't.

I didn't know what a refugee was until I met Jacqueline Kassongo my sophomore year of college when I volunteered as her "New Neighbor" through Exodus World Service. However, little did I know that everywhere I had ever lived (in my living memory) I was literally surrounded by refugees.

What I know now that I didn't know then....

One of my earliest memories was the day me and my mom moved into an apartment in Aurora Illinois. My very best friends in Aurora were Karina and Alex Flores. Alex and I went to kindergarten together. We 3 spent all of our time together. I have so many memories of sitting with their grandma, who thought was named  "Abuela", and all of us laughing at Rodrigo, their little brother. When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, he always replied exuberantly , " POE-LEEEEESE"

My little 7 year old heart broke for the first time I remember when they moved across town.

They were refugees from Chile. 

This is me, Karina (on my right) Alex (on my left) and Rigo (behind me) when I got my Cabbage Patch Kid, Trista
Aw, weren't we cute?

In Aurora I had a babysitter named Stella, who, having raised 3 sons, had zero patience for my long untame knotty hair. She used to always yell at me to "putta you jacket!" as I left for school. She was mean and I thought she hated me. One day my mom explained to me that she was so sad and angry because they had to run away from Argentina. Her husband had recently gone back to visit after many years, thinking it was safe, but they put him in prison-- not because he was bad, but because the government was bad.

Stella and her family were refugees.

In 4th grade we moved to LaSalle IL. I had never seen so many white people in my whole life. It felt weird and was hard to make friends because I didn't really know how to care about making my bangs stick up. :) I eventually settled in. One day, maybe in 5th grade we had a new student in class. His name was Teverath Ith. He was from Cambodia. I was so curious about him. Who was he? Why was he here? How did he get here? How would he learn English?  As time went on, I learned that he and his huge family lived in a tiny apartment above the store down the road. But this was 5th grade. Boys had cooties and despite my incessant curiosity about him, I couldn't go talk to a boy, people might think I love him! (C'mon!)

Teverath and his family were refugees.

In 8th grade we moved to Bolingbrook, IL. Literally 30 minutes south of Wheaton IL, which is home to hundreds of refugees. In highschool, I had a friend named Mai Lee Lao. She was super smart and I really looked up to her. She was the stage manager for our theatre program and I was really sad when she graduated, even though we weren't very close. (I'll be totes embarrassed if she sees this on facebook :)) 

This year I learned, after reconnecting with her on Facebook, that her family were refugees from Laos.

In short, refugees have always been impacting my life. I didn't know the word "Refugee" when Stella's husband didn't come home, or when Karina and Alex's dad, Luis worked long hours to support his family, forgoing his opportunity to learn English for the sake of his kids. However, refugees have always been my neighbor.

Are they your neighbor?

Jesus said that the second greatest commandment (after loving God will all you are) is to love your neighbor as yourself. 

Exodus' entire mission is to help the church welcome refugees as their neighbors. I work there, its true, it's what we do. I spend my days teaching people about refugees,  telling people how to help refugees, walking along side folks as they are in relationship with refugee families, helping manage details and cultural barriers that get in the way of folks connecting with and providing welcome to refugees. There is no hidden anything. Promoting relationships between refugees and volunteers from the local church is our first priority. 

We are a lean staff. There are 7-9 of on staff (depending on the time of year), and currently I am the only person who is full time. Yet through Exodus mobilizing volunteers, this past year,  161 families (about 600 individuals), mostly from Burma, Bhutan and Iraq, received the essential household items they need to set up and new home, and more importantly, smiling, welcoming faces of friends who took the time to prepare a place for them even when they were forgotten people-- refugees in a camp.  Additionally 79 families, which is about 250 individuals received a volunteer who came and met with them weekly for at least a few months, just to be their friend and help them settle in.

So really, supporting Exodus is a good idea. We are a tiny organization who through the Grace of God and volunteers like you take a little and make a big impact in the lives of "the least of these" and in the lives of the folks from the church who connect with refugees. Click here to support our annual Run/Walk for refugees. Click here to learn more about Exodus World service. Click here to participate in the Run/Walk, which is September 7th in Historic Long Grove. You can also be a "Virtual Walker"! If you have any questions, you an email me.

Flight to Freedom
This is a fancy chart put out by the organization I work for, Exodus World Service about how refugees come to the United States.

It appears to be really tiny--- hmm, note to self, ask Judi to post this document at the website...

Anyways, It basically says that refugees go on a long journey from the horrors that have found them in their homes down a long road to a refugee camp. The average stay in a camp (yes, camp-- dirt and tents, maybe bamboo huts, depending on the country) is 10 years. 10 years of just waiting, life on pause.... imagine even just what that part of the journey alone is like......Imagine.

Imagine if you went to church or school one day and someone locked all the doors and windows, guards were posted around the doors. It would get old after a few hours I think, but days? You had plans, you have a life you need to get back to, you have dreams and aspirations. How about a few weeks? You have neighbors and family and friends you need to get back to. Food is shipped in, but it needs to be shared with everyone else in the church and there is simply not enough. What about your children? They need to go to school. They have a life to live. How about a few months? You just sit. There is no work for you to do, nothing to pass the time except what is before you. Your kids are hungry, they want candy and fight over toys with the other kids. They have a birthday and you have nothing to give them. How about a few years? No beds, no real privacy, no showers and limited food. So you begin to "set up camp" realizing you are not leaving anytime soon.Someone with administrative skills assigned portions of the church to each family unit-- a school of sorts of is created for the kids, you set up some sort of sub-life. People get married, children  are born, crimes take place, people get sick and die. Imagine if more and more people came to your church everyday and were locked in with you. No one told you "after 5 years we will let you out" at least THAT you could plan for, as awful as it would be. You have no idea if you will ever leave or if this is just your new "normal". 

Currently we have refugees from Bhutan coming to the United States. They have been in camps in Nepal since the early 90's. Imagine. 20+ years in a refugee camp.

While in the camps, some refugees have the opportunity to apply for resettlement on a 3rd country once it is determined that there is no possible way for them to return home.

Every year the United States (among other countries) invites refugees to begin again. Refugees are assigned a resettlement agency which helps them get on their feet with some of the more "social-service-y" things, such as, finding an apartment, helping get a job, enrolling in English classes or school for the kids etc... 

The organization I work for, Exodus World Service partners with resettlement agencies in the Chicagoland area to provide volunteers for refugees resettling in the area. Volunteer a warm welcome to refugees wiht household items for their first home in the United States, and/or a lasting friendship to ease their loneliness and help them navigate their new lives in an unfamiliar place. 

Please consider supporting us during our Run/Walk for Refugees this year.

Please contact me if you are interested in volunteering with a refugee family!

No Heat!

I was just called by an apartment manager who manages the apartment that some of my refugee friends live in. Generally speaking, the managment is "okay". They respond sort of quickly to some things, but only when I call, or when the Burmese family in the building calls and says "I am going to call the police if you don't fix my toilet right now!"

They own another building near by, also full of refugees- I don't really know these families so well, but from time to time I receive calls from the apartment manager for them as well, though they know full well that I am not with any sort of angency that assumes responsibility for the livelyhood of these familes. Now don't get me wrong, I am happy to help any of the refugee families in either building communicate well with their apartment manager, especially on the family's side of things. What irritates me is that the manager, who I think at heart is a good person, has the attitude of "these people" and in a way treats them less than people. She calls me kind of often- about silly things that she really should just deal with. Everytime she calls me with an issue she tells me- I keep calling World Relief, they are supposed to help me with "these people"

My 1st question to you, apartment manager who shall remain nameless, is, at what point do people stop being "World Relief clients" and become your tenants? Some of "these people" have been her for over 2 years. They have been good tenants, paying their rent on time, telling you when there is a problem in the apartment, working through the issues that your neglect of the property has caused- and generally with a good attitude ( "I am going to call the police if you don't... family" aside)

You are blessed to have Karen people living in your building.

Let us not forget the Com Ed incident in which 3 families were paying 75/ month for electricity because you would not make the effort to let the ComEd guy in the building to read the meters. For 7 months! A year and a half later they are still being reimbursed by ComEd (a little justice!Thank you!) However, at the time of this incident these hardworking men were being paid $7/hr and only working 30 hours, being new to the country.They were hiding in their dark apartments hoping that their efforts at energy conservation would being some relief to their tight financial situation!

My second questions to you are - since when does renting an apartment to someone qualify as charity? Why do apartment managers feel a sense of entitlement because they rent to refugees? Now granted, there are some refugee populations with no experience of home care and no one to really show them the ropes. Consequently apartments are not well cared for. This is not the the case in our situation. Yes, yes, we really appreciate your willingness to take that initial risk of renting to a new refugee family with no credit, no income and no background in the U.S. I appreciate the risk involved to renting to a new family. However, how long do you get to "claim" that.

Renting an apartment to a refugee family is not an act of charity (which, by the way, since when does charity bring entitlement?) beyond that initial risk. It is a business transaction. My landlord never acts like she is doing me a favor by renting me an apartment. She wants rent. If I give her rent, she takes it and I live another month in my apartment. I know there are some managers who do continue to extend grace and hospitality to refugee families, going above and beyond the call- this is not that sort of situation.

So the call I recieved today was from said unnamed apartment manager concering the heat in the "other building". It is off, something is broken and cannot be fixed until Monday. She has tried to call World Relief to get them to talk to "these people"- but no one is able to help her. Some of the tenants in that building are new, but half of them have been there upwards of a year. She calls for my help in telling them they won't have heat all weekend.

Me: I don't really know them and won't be in the area til tomorrow (yes, a little unhelpful, but I want to encourage you to problem solve) Do you have a number for anyone in the building?

Her: well... yeah, but they don't speak English (um, I don't speak Vietnamese, Arabic or Burmese)

Me: well, pretty much half of your building is Chin and half is Vietnamese. Apt 1 and 2 (shoot and 5 for that matter, now that I think about it) all speak English pretty well and are Chin. Apartment 4 has a teenaged daughter who can speak English and is Vietnamese( I suppose this blows a hole in my " I don't really know them" statement. I really don't! I just know who they are)- maybe you can call those apartments and between them they can get the message out and begin to work on a plan to stay warm. ( You know, kind of like you would have done if they spoke English, Oh wait! They do! Marvelous)

Her: Well, it's 40 degrees, its not THAT cold

Me: That's pretty cold if you are from southeast Asia (c'mon woman, thats cold to live in if you are from America! It's not like you are asking them to walk outside to their car in 40 degrees, you are asking them to live in it for 3 days.I'd like to see you live in 40 degrees for 3 days!)

Her: Well we can't do anything about it, they can't fix it until Monday.

Me: Hmm, well do you have space heaters they can use? I know some other managers have been able to provide this in this sort of situation.

Her No, we don't do that.

Me: Oh..(intentional awkward silence) well you can call me back if you are unable to get the message to them and at least I can try to stop by and talk to them (ooh, there's an idea! How 'bout you do that! Imagine meeting your tenants! Your office is closer than my apartment! Maybe they would be real people then.) tomorrow.

Her: Well thank you so much! I will call those apartments you suggested!

Of course I called my friends in the neighboring building immediately and told them the sitaution. I asked them to let the families know and gave an indirect ask for my friends to lend the "other building" some space heaters. So I guess the womans motives in calling me were fruitful, but still have a little respect. These are good people and good tenants. They are worth you time and efforts- more than you know.

Can you free?

Can you free?

I sometimes fear this question- Hmm Can I free? Unfortunately, sometimes that depends on what you need. Is your baby sick? Yes. I can free, do you have questions about mail? well, then maybe not right now, but I will likely squeeze it in on my way here or there and take a well needed rest at your place.

The truth is that I want to be free and hang out with my Karen friends all day everyday. They are fun to know- we have inside jokes, their kids call me "munong", which means auntie. But, unfortunately I am single and young(ish) and the world places alot of requirements on the single and young(ish). I have to go to my wonderful yet life sucking job, I have to maintain American friendships and I have to go to Bible Study and I have to go see the Muslim Burmese and keep track of Fatuma, and take Eh Shun to the doctor, I have to get ready for ESL, I have to stay connected with my family, I have to do laundry and feed the cat and babysit to pay the rent for the apartment I scarcely see and Nadia, I havent seen her for months, she must hate me by now... and I really should invest in meeting some new people and getting more involved with my church...

Well, at least God created me as an extrovert, that is one positive- so yes, I can probably come over and help you sort through the hundreds of papers the school sees fit to stuff The Mee Shaw's bag with.

A few weeks ago I responded to this question and firmly planted myself with my laptop in Ma San Htin's living room. I was there to help her make her bi-weekly phone call to unemployment, because she was laid off from her job. My plan was to take Eh Shun to the doctor in the morning, stay at Ma San Htin's for lunch and head off to work. 7 hours later I stood up and said, " I just have to go right now, it is time for Bible Study." How did 7 hours pass so quickly???

As I was on hold with unemployment Ma San Htin's neighbor, Pei Thei, came in with his baby tied to him. His face was bandaged up. Apparently he had impacted wisdom teeth and didn't know what to do about it so he let it go for too long and they had to remove them from underneath his chin!! He was there to ask for help with his internet. It hadn't worked since he switched apartments. He had called twice but the people did not help him. Poor Pei Thei! It all came down to AT& T had not done their job. It was so frustrating, it is something that they should have fixed when he called the first time, but I could tell that they just hadn't taken the time to investigate the issue.

When we were on hold I explained to Pei Thei a few things about American culture as it relates to how one must approach a call about a service that one is paying for.

1. You are paying for the service, it is not a gift, it is not charity you should recieve the service or compensation for lack of service beyond what you have paid- for the inconvenience and for good faith on the part of the company- especially if the company is "name brand" like AT&T. Feel free to remind them that you expect more of them because they have a good reputaion and are not operating out of someones mom's basement!
2. Even if you are not upset, you often must act very inconvenienced by the situation (in most situations, though you will occasionally get an "advocate", someone who really thinks it is unjust what is happening, and admits it- then honey is much more effective.
3.Remind the person that you are not upset with them, but the company they represent and it is very important that they find someone who can help you. As soon as possbile.
4. You do not go away from the problem if it is unresloved. Catch Phrase " This is not my problem" (I have paid my bill, I have ...etc...) You wait until they help you.

45 minutes later it was arranged that AT& T was very sorry to have given Pei Thei the run around and caused him to have to seek out an advocate, they would be reimbursing him for the time he did not have internet, fixing the problem the next day, at no inconvenience to him and were sending him a $50 visa gift card for good measure.

Back to Ma San Htin's... I sat on the floor and worked dilligently on her unemployment forms with her and then in came TiTus with his W2's asking me to do his taxes- I suspected this might happen, then came Kyi Myint and De Poe with their COD papers, and Eh Shun with her blue book needing to know about what the doctor said about the baby, and then Po Day Day with her public aid papers, which reminded Ma San Htin and Eh Shun that they too had public aid papers. All of which requiered seperate phone calls- about 15 miutes each. And everyone had mail- important mail, junk mail- W2's and credit card applications- they all look the same to me, let alone to someone who is just learning to read in English. Everytime I looked up there were new people there. Some Ma San Htin had called, some had seen my car and were so desperate for help that they would take a number.

Then the girls came home with report cards. The Mee Shaw, the 5 year old was a shining star, of course.The only suggeston she recieved was that she need to practice making comments relevant to the conversations (e.g, don't interupt the teacher by asking her if you look like a princess or asking if you can dance) Su Klain, who is shy and newer and came here at 10, so hasn't picked up English as fast, did not do so well. So we had to spend a good deal of time talking about strengths and weaknesses and growth and building up both mom and daughter. Su Klain, who was ashamed because The Mee Shaw did better than her and Eh Shun, who is already dealing with so much feeling like she is failing her daughter by not being able to help her in school.

And oh the thousands of trees that die to fill the backpacks of refugee kids with papers upon papers- no one can read them, no one wants to. Papers upon papers of just irrelevant information... BACKPACK SPAM! Why don't the green police have a sit down with the school district. I propose we put all papers online except notices that school is closed, shots are due and field trips are upcoming. If it doesn't need a signature, don't put it in the bag!!!


This man is trying to figure out how to communicate to his boss that he can't work overtime on Monday because he has a green card appointmet. I love this picture, because I see this look of "Where do I even start???" in the faces of so many hard working refugees trying to make their way in this crazy world.

I left there feeling sad because I knew that Ma San Htin wanted to sit and chat a bit and that Eh Shun would have rather not had the entire community privvy to the details of her sick baby- not that she minded people knowing, but still, its difficult stuff to talk about in a room full of people.


I wondered- Have I become that volunteer who does everything for the family and a year out they still don't know how to write a check??? I mean, these were not new families, Pei Thei is the newest and they came in April '08, everyone else had been here 10 months- 1.5 years. And it is not as if I only come by once a month I had been there several times that particular week!

The fact is that I have to work and I have to sleep. I can give up pretty much all those other things for a season, but I have to work and sleep. What was going on? After some thought I remembered that these people were smart motivated people. They want to be independant to be able to do their papers, sort their mail, understand their kids homework etc... they are trying and trying, it is just that it is still hard, even a year out. Pei Thei could not make AT&T fix his internet- he tried and they ignored him because they could. The other things were all important and urgent things- things that were simple enough for any American to navigate through, but for a person who is just learning English... It is just still hard, even a year out.

The moral of this story is that there are refugees in Chicago and Wheaton/ Glen Ellyn, and I can't visit them all. Sure, there are wonderful people involved, people who feel called to help the poor, the orphaned, the widow and the alien, but it is still hard, even a year out.

The mission of my job is to help the local church engage in relationships with refugees. I am totally on board with this- especially after a day like this. I know we are all busy- I am busy. I get it. And contrary to common belief, my job rarely involves hanging out with refugees, it does however introduce me to many families who are just looking for a friend, a culture broker, a person who can tell the difference between Ed McMahon with his publishers clearing house and their bank statement. Su Klain desperately needs help with her math. I can't. There is just no more left of me, and no one else will come because there are so many more families who are new, who don't have any volunteers. So, in a way, she has kind of missed her boat for a while.

I know, it seems like "one more thing" but maybe it can, instead of being something that take away from you, something that fills you up. It generally is for me. I know it is not for everyone, there are many needs in this world and many God honoring minsitries and as Americans we are inundated with faces and needs each need seeming to be the largest. Maybe it is for you though, maybe for a season. The minisrtry of presence as modeled to us by our Saviour. You never know. God is in the habit of surprising us with the unexpected.