Can you free?
I sometimes fear this question- Hmm Can I free? Unfortunately, sometimes that depends on what you need. Is your baby sick? Yes. I can free, do you have questions about mail? well, then maybe not right now, but I will likely squeeze it in on my way here or there and take a well needed rest at your place.
The truth is that I want to be free and hang out with my Karen friends all day everyday. They are fun to know- we have inside jokes, their kids call me "munong", which means auntie. But, unfortunately I am single and young(ish) and the world places alot of requirements on the single and young(ish). I have to go to my wonderful yet life sucking job, I have to maintain American friendships and I have to go to Bible Study and I have to go see the Muslim Burmese and keep track of Fatuma, and take Eh Shun to the doctor, I have to get ready for ESL, I have to stay connected with my family, I have to do laundry and feed the cat and babysit to pay the rent for the apartment I scarcely see and Nadia, I havent seen her for months, she must hate me by now... and I really should invest in meeting some new people and getting more involved with my church...
Well, at least God created me as an extrovert, that is one positive- so yes, I can probably come over and help you sort through the hundreds of papers the school sees fit to stuff The Mee Shaw's bag with.
A few weeks ago I responded to this question and firmly planted myself with my laptop in Ma San Htin's living room. I was there to help her make her bi-weekly phone call to unemployment, because she was laid off from her job. My plan was to take Eh Shun to the doctor in the morning, stay at Ma San Htin's for lunch and head off to work. 7 hours later I stood up and said, " I just have to go right now, it is time for Bible Study." How did 7 hours pass so quickly???
As I was on hold with unemployment Ma San Htin's neighbor, Pei Thei, came in with his baby tied to him. His face was bandaged up. Apparently he had impacted wisdom teeth and didn't know what to do about it so he let it go for too long and they had to remove them from underneath his chin!! He was there to ask for help with his internet. It hadn't worked since he switched apartments. He had called twice but the people did not help him. Poor Pei Thei! It all came down to AT& T had not done their job. It was so frustrating, it is something that they should have fixed when he called the first time, but I could tell that they just hadn't taken the time to investigate the issue.
When we were on hold I explained to Pei Thei a few things about American culture as it relates to how one must approach a call about a service that one is paying for.
1. You are paying for the service, it is not a gift, it is not charity you should recieve the service or compensation for lack of service beyond what you have paid- for the inconvenience and for good faith on the part of the company- especially if the company is "name brand" like AT&T. Feel free to remind them that you expect more of them because they have a good reputaion and are not operating out of someones mom's basement!
2. Even if you are not upset, you often must act very inconvenienced by the situation (in most situations, though you will occasionally get an "advocate", someone who really thinks it is unjust what is happening, and admits it- then honey is much more effective.
3.Remind the person that you are not upset with them, but the company they represent and it is very important that they find someone who can help you. As soon as possbile.
4. You do not go away from the problem if it is unresloved. Catch Phrase " This is not my problem" (I have paid my bill, I have ...etc...) You wait until they help you.
45 minutes later it was arranged that AT& T was very sorry to have given Pei Thei the run around and caused him to have to seek out an advocate, they would be reimbursing him for the time he did not have internet, fixing the problem the next day, at no inconvenience to him and were sending him a $50 visa gift card for good measure.
Back to Ma San Htin's... I sat on the floor and worked dilligently on her unemployment forms with her and then in came TiTus with his W2's asking me to do his taxes- I suspected this might happen, then came Kyi Myint and De Poe with their COD papers, and Eh Shun with her blue book needing to know about what the doctor said about the baby, and then Po Day Day with her public aid papers, which reminded Ma San Htin and Eh Shun that they too had public aid papers. All of which requiered seperate phone calls- about 15 miutes each. And everyone had mail- important mail, junk mail- W2's and credit card applications- they all look the same to me, let alone to someone who is just learning to read in English. Everytime I looked up there were new people there. Some Ma San Htin had called, some had seen my car and were so desperate for help that they would take a number.
Then the girls came home with report cards. The Mee Shaw, the 5 year old was a shining star, of course.The only suggeston she recieved was that she need to practice making comments relevant to the conversations (e.g, don't interupt the teacher by asking her if you look like a princess or asking if you can dance) Su Klain, who is shy and newer and came here at 10, so hasn't picked up English as fast, did not do so well. So we had to spend a good deal of time talking about strengths and weaknesses and growth and building up both mom and daughter. Su Klain, who was ashamed because The Mee Shaw did better than her and Eh Shun, who is already dealing with so much feeling like she is failing her daughter by not being able to help her in school.
And oh the thousands of trees that die to fill the backpacks of refugee kids with papers upon papers- no one can read them, no one wants to. Papers upon papers of just irrelevant information... BACKPACK SPAM! Why don't the green police have a sit down with the school district. I propose we put all papers online except notices that school is closed, shots are due and field trips are upcoming. If it doesn't need a signature, don't put it in the bag!!!
This man is trying to figure out how to communicate to his boss that he can't work overtime on Monday because he has a green card appointmet. I love this picture, because I see this look of "Where do I even start???" in the faces of so many hard working refugees trying to make their way in this crazy world.
I left there feeling sad because I knew that Ma San Htin wanted to sit and chat a bit and that Eh Shun would have rather not had the entire community privvy to the details of her sick baby- not that she minded people knowing, but still, its difficult stuff to talk about in a room full of people.
I wondered- Have I become that volunteer who does everything for the family and a year out they still don't know how to write a check??? I mean, these were not new families, Pei Thei is the newest and they came in April '08, everyone else had been here 10 months- 1.5 years. And it is not as if I only come by once a month I had been there several times that particular week!
The fact is that I have to work and I have to sleep. I can give up pretty much all those other things for a season, but I have to work and sleep. What was going on? After some thought I remembered that these people were smart motivated people. They want to be independant to be able to do their papers, sort their mail, understand their kids homework etc... they are trying and trying, it is just that it is still hard, even a year out. Pei Thei could not make AT&T fix his internet- he tried and they ignored him because they could. The other things were all important and urgent things- things that were simple enough for any American to navigate through, but for a person who is just learning English... It is just still hard, even a year out.
The moral of this story is that there are refugees in Chicago and Wheaton/ Glen Ellyn, and I can't visit them all. Sure, there are wonderful people involved, people who feel called to help the poor, the orphaned, the widow and the alien, but it is still hard, even a year out.
The mission of my job is to help the local church engage in relationships with refugees. I am totally on board with this- especially after a day like this. I know we are all busy- I am busy. I get it. And contrary to common belief, my job rarely involves hanging out with refugees, it does however introduce me to many families who are just looking for a friend, a culture broker, a person who can tell the difference between Ed McMahon with his publishers clearing house and their bank statement. Su Klain desperately needs help with her math. I can't. There is just no more left of me, and no one else will come because there are so many more families who are new, who don't have any volunteers. So, in a way, she has kind of missed her boat for a while.
I know, it seems like "one more thing" but maybe it can, instead of being something that take away from you, something that fills you up. It generally is for me. I know it is not for everyone, there are many needs in this world and many God honoring minsitries and as Americans we are inundated with faces and needs each need seeming to be the largest. Maybe it is for you though, maybe for a season. The minisrtry of presence as modeled to us by our Saviour. You never know. God is in the habit of surprising us with the unexpected.
