My Happy Birthday

Last week I celebrated was my 29th birthday. Wow- 29- I am almost out of my 20's ( I know, poor baby big deal- whatever)



Well, I celebrated my birthday in typical Jessica fashion, by ignoring it-- I don't know why- I have no objection to aging or birthdays in general and I feel strongly about celebrating other people on their birthdays. But also in typical Jessica's birthday fashion, the people I am close to (as well as random people that I sort of maybe remember from highschool thanks to facebook) did not ignore it and I was secretly was glad that it did not go all that unnoticed.

Birthdays bring instant fame on facebook apparently- from random people from my past to people who go to my church but I don't really know in "real life" to BFFs. It is kind of funny. That night I sat in the office at Glenfield church before ESL with our "Principal" Scott and said, "Oh look, the girl who "RAed" (Yes, Scott I will verb anything I want to! so shhh!)me for a month during the summer of my freshman year of college wishes me a happy birthday. Thanks Liz Amundsen now Reyes. Happy Birthday to you too!

I had a lovely birthday though. It started out with dropping The Mee Shaw and her mom off at school. Ma San Htin decided that she wanted to chaperone a field trip. I know this seems like no big deal, but I was really excited that she had the confidence to this- Ma San Htin, who didn't want to go to parent- teacher conferences because she didn't speak English!




Also, as a result, I got to have Wonderful for the morning- and she was wonderful. We went to my office and she just chilaxed with a movie and a train set. She is just so cute and good. We are Bff's now because I got her McDonald's on the way home. We hung out at her house for a bit then I was off to work some more, then to ESL.


At ESL that night I learned that one of my students was moving, which is half of our class. Worse yet,he is taking Michelle with him! A bit about Michelle, For a time it was only me and Abigail in class, our other 2 students had moved on- so we created "Michelle" one day. Michelle is a stick person of an ambiguous gender who can be used as a reference point in sentences such as, " Abigail always comes to class, but Michelle only comes to class sometimes" Well, I had 4 (real) students for a while, but then one got a job and the her husband was busy with the baby. So it was down to Abigail and Mo Rah again, with the occasional appearence of Michelle. Apparently Michelle has gained a firm identity as well as a history and now she is dating Mo Rah, who is all too apt to have girlfriends. So, Mo Rah will be taking Michelle with him when they migrate to Connecticut. Mo Rah came for his last class on Thursday and we kind of blew off most of the lesson to make a good-bye video for him fully equipped with music video- it wasn't in the lesson plan, but hey, it's a conversational class and we were definitely talking!



Abigail and I worked on a song for the video- to be sung to "God is so good" because we all know that song as we sing it at ESL every week.





Chorus:We miss Mo Rah, We miss Mo Rah
Please don't go, just stay here (with us/ Mo Rah)

If you want we will bring
for you Michelle
If you go Abigail
Will have to be the doctor. and the patient!

(Chorus)

We will cry
Is that good for you?
We think it's ridiculous
that you are leaving

(Chorus)
You have an obligation to come and visit us
When you go we will cry
and that will be a distrction



Obviously, you can see that we have been learning some "big words" in class. So I think we sent Mo Rah off well. we had fun at least and used our big words.



Mo Rah is leaving because that is what refugees are conditioned to do when things start to look bleak. He and his brother Eh Kaw are the breadwinners for the household. They live with their parents and uncle who are too old to work. They arrived about 6 months or so ago- I remember that day. Mo Rah and Eh Kaw were both working and trying to figure out how to also go to school when their factory closed down. Because the have been here 6 months they are at the bottom of the list for help in finding employment with their resettlement agency-- and the list is long, very long these days.



It is difficult to find employment for refugees for so many reasons, in the situation of the Karen, often times the families have been in camps so long and unable to work that they are coming here with skill, yes, but not marketable skills in this context. Mo Rah was born in Thailand. His family fled Burma more than 21 years ago. In addition the this, many refugees come to the U.S with little or no English skills. If you have no English, but can speak Spanish, that is one thing, but if you speak an obscure lauguage belonging only to your people group, it is another thing entirely. Mo Rah cam with a little English, but Eh Kaw came with none. Employers who hire refugees are often facotries and they will hire a group at a time. Unfortunately Acme has just closed down and Touch Sensor is closing soon- two big companies that employ new refugees.

Mo Rah and Eh Kaw's family are moving on to Connecticut. They have a realtive there, but no real prospects. They don't really want to go, but the mother is certain it will bring them something new. I hope so. I often see refugees migrating all over the country in search of hope when things get tricky. It makes sense, times like these were like the beginning of the storm in their own countries.


Well, it was a nice day, despite the news that Mo Rah and his girlfriend Michelle will be leaving us.

Dreaming of Snakes

The amnio came back okay PRAISE THE LORD!!!! and so she is being transferred to Loyola. It is kind of an interesting dynamic- the baby is so sick the no one seems to think he will live, but he is not too sick to just forget about and let die- so there is a small hope, medically speaking, and in human terms.


Scott and I were talking the other day about this situation with Paw Moo and the baby and her family and what it all means. It was honestly the first time I have talked about it to anyone beyond facts. I hadn't really realized this. Sure I tell people the details all the time, and I talk with Paw Moo about it, telling her I am praying, so and so is praying, etc...

People who know me really well (my inner inner circle) know that if something is bothering me, it is always the thing I am NOT talking about. I will talk and talk and talk about all sorts of things that may be unfortunate, but don't really bother me, and I don't even realize I am doing it- or that there is something underneath that I am not talking about until someone specifically (whether it be accidentally or because they have learned me- usually accidentally or providentially) asks me about it. Then it is like- hold on- back it up buddy! Its not safe here. I change the subject, or talk around the subject and get the heck out! This is how I generally discover something is affecting me- maybe it comes with being an external processor (if I am not talking about it, I am not thinking about it) When this discovery is made, I generally ask a Mandy, or a Sarah to make me talk about it from time to time before it eats a hole in my stomach.


Anyways, all that is to say that while talking about the implications of the baby and how that will look for Paw Moo's family if the baby lives or dies- we entered that dangerous zone for me- which made me realize that it existed. The fact is that I love Paw Moo and her family and I cannot bear to think that her baby will die. I acknowledge that facts on the outside, but the prospect of him dying or having servere disabilities is eating a hole in my heart. I have an annoyingly optimistic hope that God will do an amazing thing- it is who I am, but part of me is terrified about what lies in store for her family and that baby. (BTW Mandy, if you are reading this....)


I know in my mind and heart that God is good, and God loves Paw Moo and her family and it delighted to call them His. But part of me wonders, how can this happen? The medium saying the baby would die and now all these problems- show your self strong God! Please! And Paw Moo, who recently decided to "follow Jesus until she dies" how can this happen? And her little boy and her daughter, so excited for their little brother. Her 4 year old son asking the other day- Moe? When will my brother come out? I want to play soccer with him- and today, saying randomly from the back seat- Moe, when the baby comes I don't think he should get any shots. My first thought was how adorable it was that in his little 4 year old mind he wants to protect him from the worse (shots) and little does he know that the baby, if all goes well from a medical perspective will be a little pin cushion for quite a while.

Anyways, enough about me for now. Back to the midwifery... After the appointment we went back to Paw Moo's home to talk with her neighbor that helps with translations (I can't remember what I called her in previous posts- Khin Win?) and talked to her about the appointment. We went through what the doctor said and I asked her if she had any questions. Paw Moo said, "Yes, I had a dream about a snake last night- what do you think? Is that good?"

Silence... hmmm, a dream about a snake? Is that good? really? You are asking the worng person, honey! I am American, evangelical moreover, we don't really "do" dreams....This is a relevant question??? I could tell Khin Win was a little embarassed asking... It was like a bucket of cold water in the face. Of course it is relevant. Everything is relevant. I paused for a second and remembered who I was talking to. I may have been explaining Tetrology of Fallot to her, but still, this was a woman who puts her faith in more than doctors. Shame on me for forgetting that and for being so.... so... American. I don't know. Paw Moo has just been dragged along on this trip. If she were still in Thailand, Tetrology of Fallot would be totally irrelevant, and in a sense it still is.

So I asked her about the dream. What happened in the dream? I am a lousy dream interpreter- just ask Sara Newton, but I believe that God uses dreams to tell you things, and/ or dreams can reveal things about ourselves that we may not recognize in real life. I think this happens more often in other societies, ones that aren't so apt to explain away the non- concrete. Her dream was that she saw the snake and she was scared. So she killed it.

My first thought was about her mother- she had a heart problem and was afraid to get the surgery, and she died. And her mother-in- law, she has a tumor in her stomach, but is afraid of surgery. But Eh Shun, has alot of fear about this baby, but she is standing in it and walking through it, though she is scared. I admire what God is doing in her so much.

So, in fact this dream, perhaps was the most beneficial thing for her all day. I think that God sent her this dream to give her courage and to let her know He is standing with her. And silly dismissive me.....

God is a mysterious God.