I met a family this week from Burma, a Chin family. I haven't had much chance to know the Chin people yet. Most who have arrived have been single men. There have been occasional couples or couples +1.
I was with the volunteers who welcomed this new family. We will call them Mary and Lian Thang. After we set up their apartment the volunteers sat down with the family and talked with them for a little bit. Mary and Lian Thang had met at university- they were from different people groups and spoke different languages, but they both also spoke Burmese. Apparently when they were attacked they fled to Malaysia, as many of the Chin do. They were in Malaysia for 1 year.
This particular volunteer welcomes about 3-5 families a year and heard a lot of stories. I could tell that she was not all that impressed with the fact that they had been in Malaysia for only a year. I think the family could see this as well because Lian Thang started to say more about how it was a long time and he began to stumble a little over his words. I could see by the look in his eyes that this was very uncomfortable and getting too personal. I jumped in and told the volunteers that it was a difficult situation and that it probably took even longer to be able to get out of Burma, and I tried to change the subject. The family relaxed a little.
No matter how many times you tell some volunteers that it is inappropriate to ask refugees certain questions- the very day they step off the plane... The volunteer then asked why they fled, so I cut her off, and answered on their behalf that there was a war in Burma, the government is corrupt is targeting certain ethnic minorities. "It is not safe, they had to go." I say this often. But, this is my job, getting the volunteers interested enough to want to stay involved, but also helping the interaction not become so awkward that no one wants to return, it's a fine line- and though my ministry is to the volunteer, it is hard not to want to smack them over the head sometimes and say- "What the heck is wrong with you??? Why would you ask someone you just met to reveal their deepest darkest pains???!?" Cross-cultural issues aside even! Seriously!
Anyways, I had the opportunity to see the couple the next day as I was eating with one of the M. Burmese. I asked them how long they were married (usually a safe question- as marriage and/or lack there of is all I hear about from refugees!) They began to tell a bit of their story.
I had studied up on the Chin and the conflict they are involved with a few months back. I often do this for the "group of the moment" and last summer we had alot of single Chin guys arriving. I researched it out of necessity because, unfortunately no one is all that thrilled about welcoming single men- so you have to have a story to, in a way, "sell" them. It is terrible, but a reality in my world. What I had never known about was the situation in Malaysia. I always stopped in Burma. Most of our refugee families from around the world have been wareshoused in refugee camps set up by the UN for several years. The official average is 5 years in a camp, though I have personally met very few families who have been in a camp less that 10. The Burundi's have been warehoused for 36 years!
I guess I had always assumed that there was a camp in Malaysia as well. According to Mary and Lian Thang the Malaysian government will not allow the UN to set up a refugee camp. Refugees who flee to Malaysia are there illegally and live in fear of being found out by the police. If they are caught, they are imprisoned, sent back to Burma, or killed. The UN has an office in Malaysia that has to be checked in with on regular intervals.
Mary and Lian Thang told me that they are having a hard time sleeping because of the nightmares of being found out by the police. They cannot imagine that in America the police are people who they, not only don't have to run from if they are seen, but are people they can actually call for help. They told stories of not being able to sleep for more than a few hours while in Malaysia because the police would find you and cut the door open and everyone would have to run. They would go from place to place so as to not be found out.
Imagine, not only fleeing genocide, but then having to hide in another country until your case is decided. The fact that people choose to stay in this situation in Malaysia is really telling about how bad the alternative is! If they left Malaysia, they would likely have no hope of resettlement, but if they stay... To stay in that situation must mean that resettlement is their only hope. I looked at them and said, "Wow! A year in Malaysia is really a long time !" They told more stories about people who were found out and imprisoned or sent to walk to Thailand etc...
I told them I had noticed that when we have Karen families arrive they usually have lots of children, but with the Chin it is usually singles or couples and maybe one young baby. The Karen flee to Thailand where there are camps because it is close. Lian Thang told me that families with children would never make it in Malaysia so they can't go there. I asked them if they have more family in Malaysia and he looked down and said, "No, they are in Myanmar and cannot get out"
Mary and Lian Thang are here now, day 4 in America- They won't have to run anymore. I asked them if they will stay in this area or move elsewhere and Mary's response was, "We will stay everlasting!" So sweet! They will soon learn that life in America brings with it a whole new set of issues. As of right now, they have no American friends to help them navigate through the craziness that is this new life. I pray for more volunteers to give an hour or two a week.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Thursday, April 3, 2008
M Burmese
I say good bye to a lot of refugee families... for different reasons- people I have known well, and people who I have not known really at all- yesterday I said good-bye to a family that I will truly miss- one that likely will never know, this side of heaven, how they have impacted my life.
The M Burmese have been on my heart for a while. When they first arrived it was in the midst of the September rush and very few of the families got our very best attention, because so many families came at once. There were 4 M Burmese families that arrived in my area that month- and of those, only one got a legitimate WP volunteer. The others received odds and ends.When they arrived the mosque surrounded them with help initially, as it was near Ramadan. The mosque actually stuck around longer that I expected, based on past experience- which was very bitter sweet. Sweet, from a purely sociological perspective because the families needed help and support and the church was no where to be found, or rather, to be fair, the church otherwise engaged in meaningful things. Bitter because the M Burmese became very suspicious of the local church and were warned against us. I had only one opportunity to meet any of these families and that was to bring a father and his grown daughter some laundry soap and blankets. They seemed very suspicious of me- it was the very first, and only time that I had not been invited in to a home.
It all happened so fast in September, when I had the opportunity to look back, I realized that with limited resources and high needs it seemed as though "chance" was against the M Burmese. . All of the "solid" volunteers somehow ended up matched with Karen. There was no intentional neglect, by any means, it just so happened that at the end of the day when the straws were drawn the M Burmese always seemed to come up with the shortest one. I don't know how or why it happened. When it comes to matching WPs, especially in September, it is mostly a numbers game- who is ready when and what family comes on that day.
I became very burdened for them shortly after this realization and when I saw how uninterested they were in meeting Americans who were not Muslim, I really felt though I had a part in failing them. I was thankful that at least they were getting some help, from a social service point of view, but saddened that there was no room for Light. I shared this with my small group and we prayed for them on a few occasions. I have been praying for God to raise people up to reach out to them- the right people-people who could handle a little rejection :) and praying for opportunities to befriend them.
Well, in January, word reached me that one of the families was looking for a volunteer to tutor their kids and 2 of the families needed help with taxes. I met with the families, who were very happy to have volunteers and passed the info on to my coworker, who had some volunteers ready. There are now 3 solid volunteers meeting with these families.
A few weeks ago I introduced a very committed volunteer to two of the families. At our first meeting we learned that Ha Se Na and her husband O'Sman would be leaving soon. They would move in with O'Sman's relatives in another state. I asked them why the relatives would not come here instead, and Ha Se Na replied, “They have sponsors there, volunteers that help then and they don't want to leave them.” (ouch)Over the last few weeks their new volunteer has been visiting with the families 3-5 times a week, helping them close out accounts, buy tickets, eating lots of curried food and developing a friendship. I have had the opportunity form time to time to see how the friendship is growing between the volunteer and the families. It is truly amazing.
Yesterday I was invited to join them for lunch and Ha Se Na was talking about leaving and how Mar Ree Ahn (single daughter of the other family) would be alone once she left. They were very sad and she hoped more Burmese would come soon to her area. Then she said something like “ When we came here, we were the first family and we didn’t have any friends- for two weeks I cried in my apartment, then some Africans met us and we became friends, then the Muslims came and visited for a little while, but they left. Now today I told O'Sman I don’t want to move, I don’t want to leave my new friends, my African friends and my teachers, I will miss them very much and so I was crying.” She said something about how having these new friends, and this type of help earlier on would have been much better. Broke my heart clean in half….
Ha Se Na and O'Sman were the one family who did received a WP. I remember that they came in late and they never met their WP volunteer. When I talked to the volunteer about at least coming back once and welcoming them she told me, in no uncertain terms that she was too busy to ever come back and visit this family.
I understand fully that a lot of people don't come back for many reasons. We live in the season of "first serves" and Americans fear commitment so we like to do "one time things" which is why my job exists. I totally get that. I love that my job is centered around walking through this "first serve" experience with volunteers with the hopes of turning it into more. It is a scary thing to reach out to someone from another culture, even if it is for a one time event. I remember my first time, I can appreciate the fear and anxiety that goes along with doing a WP.
I love to see the look on the volunteers faces as we walk out the door, and they say "What about...? How will they...? and I say to them "It is different when they have faces, isn't it?" The volunteers are touched, they are moved- at least for the next 20 minutes or so. I don't get it- and yet I do, I am ashamed to say- Maybe if we weren't so inundated with "faces"- would that help? How is it so easy for us as Americans to walk away from Ha Se Na's and let them cry out of loneliness int their apartments for 2 weeks? People like Ha Se Na and O'sman, who have lost everything, fled violent men with machetes, lost friends and family and come to America, which is wonderful, but was not the plan they had for their lives at all. How are we able, myself included, to look in the face of suffering and say "Oh, that is sad, I hope it works out- Dear Jesus, help them" and walk away. It shouldn't be this easy, it really shouldn't.
It's not that we should live in guilt and shame of our privileged place in life- we are the redeemed, that is no way to live- I don't know that responding out of guilt is really all that God honoring in the end any ways. I think a response should come more out of what Grace has been given to us. You know, the one who has been given much, loves much etc...
Imagine if we could reach out to the world with the love of Christ by helping someone read their mail- or driving them to the grocery store. Imagine if we could love Jesus more by giving up just a few hours of our week to hang out with some people and just be friends. What would that be like? No need to raise a thousand bucks to drive to Mexico for a week and build a house and get that mountain top experience that may last 25 (!) minutes (though, please lets do that as well)- just a 20 minute to an hour drive and living life with people who simply need a friend. Maybe it could change our lives too- and for more that 20 minutes. Imagine that.
As for Ha Se Na and O'Sman, I pray with confidence that there is someone at their destination ready to pick up where their volunteer here left off when he dropped them at the airport this morning- someone who is ready to continue to build that friendship that reflects Christ's love for them. He did not rescue them in this life only to abandon them.
The M Burmese have been on my heart for a while. When they first arrived it was in the midst of the September rush and very few of the families got our very best attention, because so many families came at once. There were 4 M Burmese families that arrived in my area that month- and of those, only one got a legitimate WP volunteer. The others received odds and ends.When they arrived the mosque surrounded them with help initially, as it was near Ramadan. The mosque actually stuck around longer that I expected, based on past experience- which was very bitter sweet. Sweet, from a purely sociological perspective because the families needed help and support and the church was no where to be found, or rather, to be fair, the church otherwise engaged in meaningful things. Bitter because the M Burmese became very suspicious of the local church and were warned against us. I had only one opportunity to meet any of these families and that was to bring a father and his grown daughter some laundry soap and blankets. They seemed very suspicious of me- it was the very first, and only time that I had not been invited in to a home.
It all happened so fast in September, when I had the opportunity to look back, I realized that with limited resources and high needs it seemed as though "chance" was against the M Burmese. . All of the "solid" volunteers somehow ended up matched with Karen. There was no intentional neglect, by any means, it just so happened that at the end of the day when the straws were drawn the M Burmese always seemed to come up with the shortest one. I don't know how or why it happened. When it comes to matching WPs, especially in September, it is mostly a numbers game- who is ready when and what family comes on that day.
I became very burdened for them shortly after this realization and when I saw how uninterested they were in meeting Americans who were not Muslim, I really felt though I had a part in failing them. I was thankful that at least they were getting some help, from a social service point of view, but saddened that there was no room for Light. I shared this with my small group and we prayed for them on a few occasions. I have been praying for God to raise people up to reach out to them- the right people-people who could handle a little rejection :) and praying for opportunities to befriend them.
Well, in January, word reached me that one of the families was looking for a volunteer to tutor their kids and 2 of the families needed help with taxes. I met with the families, who were very happy to have volunteers and passed the info on to my coworker, who had some volunteers ready. There are now 3 solid volunteers meeting with these families.
A few weeks ago I introduced a very committed volunteer to two of the families. At our first meeting we learned that Ha Se Na and her husband O'Sman would be leaving soon. They would move in with O'Sman's relatives in another state. I asked them why the relatives would not come here instead, and Ha Se Na replied, “They have sponsors there, volunteers that help then and they don't want to leave them.” (ouch)Over the last few weeks their new volunteer has been visiting with the families 3-5 times a week, helping them close out accounts, buy tickets, eating lots of curried food and developing a friendship. I have had the opportunity form time to time to see how the friendship is growing between the volunteer and the families. It is truly amazing.
Yesterday I was invited to join them for lunch and Ha Se Na was talking about leaving and how Mar Ree Ahn (single daughter of the other family) would be alone once she left. They were very sad and she hoped more Burmese would come soon to her area. Then she said something like “ When we came here, we were the first family and we didn’t have any friends- for two weeks I cried in my apartment, then some Africans met us and we became friends, then the Muslims came and visited for a little while, but they left. Now today I told O'Sman I don’t want to move, I don’t want to leave my new friends, my African friends and my teachers, I will miss them very much and so I was crying.” She said something about how having these new friends, and this type of help earlier on would have been much better. Broke my heart clean in half….
Ha Se Na and O'Sman were the one family who did received a WP. I remember that they came in late and they never met their WP volunteer. When I talked to the volunteer about at least coming back once and welcoming them she told me, in no uncertain terms that she was too busy to ever come back and visit this family.
I understand fully that a lot of people don't come back for many reasons. We live in the season of "first serves" and Americans fear commitment so we like to do "one time things" which is why my job exists. I totally get that. I love that my job is centered around walking through this "first serve" experience with volunteers with the hopes of turning it into more. It is a scary thing to reach out to someone from another culture, even if it is for a one time event. I remember my first time, I can appreciate the fear and anxiety that goes along with doing a WP.
I love to see the look on the volunteers faces as we walk out the door, and they say "What about...? How will they...? and I say to them "It is different when they have faces, isn't it?" The volunteers are touched, they are moved- at least for the next 20 minutes or so. I don't get it- and yet I do, I am ashamed to say- Maybe if we weren't so inundated with "faces"- would that help? How is it so easy for us as Americans to walk away from Ha Se Na's and let them cry out of loneliness int their apartments for 2 weeks? People like Ha Se Na and O'sman, who have lost everything, fled violent men with machetes, lost friends and family and come to America, which is wonderful, but was not the plan they had for their lives at all. How are we able, myself included, to look in the face of suffering and say "Oh, that is sad, I hope it works out- Dear Jesus, help them" and walk away. It shouldn't be this easy, it really shouldn't.
It's not that we should live in guilt and shame of our privileged place in life- we are the redeemed, that is no way to live- I don't know that responding out of guilt is really all that God honoring in the end any ways. I think a response should come more out of what Grace has been given to us. You know, the one who has been given much, loves much etc...
Imagine if we could reach out to the world with the love of Christ by helping someone read their mail- or driving them to the grocery store. Imagine if we could love Jesus more by giving up just a few hours of our week to hang out with some people and just be friends. What would that be like? No need to raise a thousand bucks to drive to Mexico for a week and build a house and get that mountain top experience that may last 25 (!) minutes (though, please lets do that as well)- just a 20 minute to an hour drive and living life with people who simply need a friend. Maybe it could change our lives too- and for more that 20 minutes. Imagine that.
As for Ha Se Na and O'Sman, I pray with confidence that there is someone at their destination ready to pick up where their volunteer here left off when he dropped them at the airport this morning- someone who is ready to continue to build that friendship that reflects Christ's love for them. He did not rescue them in this life only to abandon them.
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